


Two People Talking... Avon and Blair Sandburg

by Sally M (sallymn)



Series: Two People Talking... [27]
Category: Blake's 7, The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25929271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallymn/pseuds/Sally%20M
Summary: I spent twenty-nine years getting comfortable in my own skin, d'you think I want to start all over with yours?
Series: Two People Talking... [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/53327
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Two People Talking... Avon and Blair Sandburg

**Two People Talking...**

"Oh man oh _man_ ," 'Avon' said finally, waving his hands, "this really, _really_ sucks." 

'Blair' glared at him, full lips curling in a sneer that would have been scarily familiar to any of the Liberator crew (albeit, scarily _un_ familiar in its present location), and, for the three thousandth time, pushed stray curls out of his face. "Not that I'm asking what that less than charming expression means, but I take it your absurd enthusiasm for this.... _new experience_ has run its course." 

"Well, _duh_." 'Avon' thumped down in the chair and buried his face in his arms for a minute, then looked up with a decidedly sulky expression on his face. "Well -? No offence, man, but I want _that_ bod of mine back. I spent twenty-nine years getting comfortable in my own skin, d'you think I want to start all over with yours?" 

"On the contrary, I may have to kill you if you try too..." 

The sulks faded and a small, quirky grin appeared. "Too.... _what_ , man? Hey, like I keep telling you, while I'm in possession I gotta use the merchandise." 

"Yes, you did take inordinate delight in saying that," 'Blair' snapped, something like revulsion on his face. "And as I informed you, any liberties will be paid for. In full." 

"You can't kill me, I'm... currently _you_." 

"But - despite our computer's prognosis - only temporarily." 

"Amen to that, brother," 

"And believe me, it could have been much worse." 

"Right back 'atcha there, 'Avon' mumbled then raised his voice. "And hey, at least we're both the same sex and species, we're used to... y'know, how it all works." 

'Blair' narrowed his eyes. "And not being a _total_ idiot like my pilot who did this to us... you have always known that possession and usage has worked both ways." Dark blue eyes glittered as 'Avon' shrugged, not quite as unconcerned as he meant to appear. "I know you have _also_ been making every attempt not to think about that." 

"Yeah, and failing every time I have to pee, man." 

'Blair' stared at him with distaste. "It is a pity that Vila isn't the one you shared this experience with - a Delta halfwit would be very much your equal." 

"Hey, just because you don't like the culture of my time -" 

" _Culture_ , you call it?" The cold incredulity hardly suited the soft features, but 'Blair' was giving it every bit of acidity possible. "I can only be grateful _not_ to have lived in such primitive times." 

"Hey, fix or no fix, I ain't staying _here_ , I don't like it." 

'Blair' paused, then gave a stiff, reluctant nod. "As much as it pains me to agree... that is quite common." 

"You don't like it either." 'Avon's' gaze was suddenly, oddly intent. "Sorry, man." 

"Pity is neither wanted nor justified," 'Blair' snarled. "I doubt I would like your life any better, so you need not concern yourself. Orac _will,_ " and the grim look on his face boded ill for the computer in question, "find a remedy and return us to ourselves. In the meantime, I suggest we both treat -" he paused, and deeper distaste crossed his features, "the _merchandise_ with as much reserve as possible." 

The intent gaze vanished, and 'Avon' flipped a hand at him. "Just 'cause I had to help you with the nipple ring -" 

"And we will _not_ discuss that!" 

"Hey, I wasn't the one who let your friend Vila know about it. And it could've been worse," 'Avon' couldn't help grinning. "There was this girl, absolutely knockout, and I was young and not too bright -" 

"Some things have not changed, obviously." 

"And you don't want to know _where_ she did want -" 

"No." 

'Avon' blinked. 

"Believe me, I do _not_." 

"You're worse than Simon, " 'Avon' grumbled. "No sense of fun at all... man, this really, really, _really_ sucks." 

"You have said that... repeatedly. Now kindly shut up." 

'Avon' glared at him for a minute, then huffed and flounced out of the seat, heading for the door. 

"As I said," 'Blair' mused, "it could have been worse." 

"And that would be... how?" 

"Cally was also downloaded, and I doubt either of us would have survived the experience of sharing with her." 

'Avon' turned, perking up with definite interest. "Cally... she's the sexy female alien, right?" 

'Blair' sighed. "Alien, yes. Female, presumably by Auronar standards. Sexy - whatever _you_ mean by that..." 

"Hey, she's pretty! And nice, too." 

"She is not human." 

"Does it matter?" 

A curious expression crossed 'Blair's' face...in anyone else but Avon, and _on_ anyone else but Blair, it might have been... embarrassment. "I thought not. Once. Until..." 

"Until -?" 'Avon' prompted, eyes sparkling with curiosity. 

"You have never seen an alien... unclothed, have you?" 

"Man, I've never seen an _alien_ at _all,_ clothed or not. And to be honest -" 

"Must you?" 'Blair' murmured. 

"I can't see any reason why aliens would wear clothes - well, human clothes - anyway. 'Course, your Cally looks very human, doesn't she?" 'Avon' bounced on his toes.. "And pretty." 

"Trust me, with the Auronar, the... _merchandise_ , as you so charmingly call it, is not even slightly... human. Living inside Cally's skin..." He shuddered. 

'Avon's' brown eyes went very very big and very very round. "... Would be a whole new experience?" 

"One that - for reasons I have no intention of elaborating - _neither_ of us would survive." 

"Oh, _man,_ you can't not tell -" 

"But I believe," 'Blair's' big blue eyes glittered again, coldly malicious. "your beloved expression 'it - sucks' would be an all too graphic expression..." 

**\- the end -**

  



End file.
